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Besoin d’aide. Aidez-moi s’il vous plaît à corriger ma bande dessinée. Je dois faire une bande dessine en anglais. Merci de vouloir corriger ma bande dessine s’il vous plaît. Merci d’avance. C’est coefficient trois. Si besoin donnez votre opinion de ma bande dessinée.

Box 1
During the second world war, the scientist John created his Super-Hero who is called Super-Robot but a Super-Villain who is called Super-Bot thinks him of the problems because he is part of the Nazis. Let's go to history !
Box 2
Hello, my name is John. You are my Superhero that I created for you to save the world because of enemies like the Nazis.
Box 3
Hello my creator, I am Super-Robot. What can I do for you ?
Box 4
Your goal is to save people in danger and end the world war and kill our enemy Super-Bot.
Box 5
Okay, I'm going to kill him now, that fool.
No, don't be silly, I'll give you a plan to meet me get into the war and you're going to meet my friend who will help you attack Super-Bot.
Box 6
Okay, I’m going to end the war and at the end of the war I’ll tell you good news.
Good luck, be careful ! They are strong and numerous.
Box 7
(Fly to laboratory))
Box 8
Hey, who are you ?
Get out of my laboratory.
Box 9
Hello, I’m John’s Superhero, and he told me to see you about the war
Ah yes, I forgot! Hold on to the plan to attack Super Bot, he's serious strong, and he has a lot of power. The plan will help you to attack the enemy.
Box 10
The plan is to team up with the enemy and attack them with surprise.
Well, Super-Bot you will see who is Super-Robot !!
Box 11
Hello, I'm Super-Robot. I would like to be a teammate with you, I will do anything you ask me !! I am indestructible. First Super-Robot, Your goal is to attack the enemy with us.
Box 12
(You stupid idiot, it’s me, it’s going to end you in the war)
Box 13
Mmmm ! Mmmm !
It's me John, I can talk to you with your brain.
Today is the time to kill him !!
OK Chef.
Box 14
(Pistol towards the enemy)
Box 15
Treason. Command kill Super-Robot. He's an intruder.
Come, Come, The idiots !!
Box 16
(Kills the commanders)
Box 17
Super Bot gets up and attacks Super Robot.
Attention Super Robot, it is getting up. Attack him.
Box 18
(Attack position)
Box 19
(Super-Bot below)
Box 20
It's victory !!! Bravo Super Robot !!! We won !!!


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Réponse :

Explications :

Bonjour, j’espère que je vais pouvoir vous aider.  J'ai tous reecris en ajoutant la correction.

Box1

During the second world war, the scientist John created a super-hero named Super-robot. A villain named Super-bot, who is a Nazi, thinks that the hero will cause problems. OU “A villain named super-bot causes problems because he is from the Nazis. (J’ai pas trop compris alors ca depend de ce que tu as dit).

Box2:

Hello, my name Is john. I am your creator. You are a superhero named Super-Robot and your goal is to save the world from enemies like the Nazis.  

Box3:  

Hello master. Super-Robot is at your service. So, what do I do now?  

Box4:  

To fulfill your goal and end the world war you have to kill Super-bot.

Box5:

Okay, I’m going to kill him now, that fool.

No don’t be silly. You’ll have to follow my plan and meet my friend who will help you defeat super-bot. (Here’s my friend’s location).

Box6:  

At your service master. I will hopefully end the war and come back with good news.

Be careful they are strong and great in number. Good luck!

Box7:

(Flying to the laboratory)

Box8:

Who are you?! Why are you in my laboratory?

Box9:

Hello, I am John’s Super-robot. He told me to come to you to discuss about the war.  

Ah yes, I completely forgot! Super-robot hold on to the plan and you’ll be successful. Super bot’s extremely strong and powerful.  

Box 10:

The plan is to infiltrate the enemy's team by teaming up with them and then attack them by surprise.  

Super-bot will finally know the power of justice, the power of super-robot.  

Box 11:

(once arrived in enemy territory)

Hello I'm super robot. I would like to team up with you. I am indestructible and very useful.  

Okay super robot, your first task is to attack the enemy with us.  

Box12:

(You stupid fool, I will end you in the war)

Box13:

Bzz! Bzzz!

Super robot it's me John I can communicate with you by telepathy.  

Now is the time to take action!

Understood master.

Box14:  

(Aims the pistol toward the enemy)

Box 15:

He betrayed us!! He’s an intruder!! Kill Super–robot!!

Come you idiots.

Box16:

(Super- robot kills the commanders)

Box17:

Super bot gets up and is ready to attack super robot.  

Be careful super robot , it is getting up. Attack him and finish him!!

Box18:

(Attacks super bot )

Box 19:

(super bot is defeated)

Box 20 :

We won! It’s a victory! Good job super robot !!

 

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