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Bonjour , je suis en 4 eme et j ai un devoir en Anglais a faire c est une lettre de motivation pour le metier d acteur j ai trouver des idées mais le professeur m a dit que "si je lisait cette lettre je sais que c est un Francais qui l a ecrit ".Je n ai pas trouver des choses a modifieer .Est ce que vous pouvez m aider s il vous plaît.

merci

I have been very passionate about the cinema since the age of eight, I have been immersed in the world of theater and cinema since my youth, so I had the opportunity to play various roles in plays of all kinds but also in short and feature films at the cinema. My qualities as an actor and interpreter have always been recognized by my professional entourage, so I allow myself to speak to you, convinced that I am a good element.


Rigorous and responsible, I always invest myself fully in order to best fulfill the various functions entrusted to me. Having learned about the career opportunities that your company offers, I turn to you to find a profession of the future. Likewise, I want to use my skills and training within your company . I quickly remember my text .

My 27 years of experience have allowed me to develop my qualities.


Tim Burton asked me to play in Charlie the Chocolate Factory but I refused because this project did not inspire me


I refused to work with Steven Spielberg because I was busy working on another film with Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Cruise. James Cameron offered to play in one of his greatest films « Avatar 2 » in 2037 and I accepted because who wouldn't dream of playing in a film whose the producer is James Cameron .


I did the voice of Helvi in the « Elfkins 2 » in 2031 .


During the Molieres ceremony in 2029, I won the first prize as best French-speaking actress .

As the main character in the film « Elle 2 » I played the role of Isabelle Huppert .


On the strength of my experience and the development of my acting skills, I had the honor of starring in a famous play last year. Comfortable with others, I fit in easily, I resist stress well and in good physical condition I can work hard.



While waiting for a return from you and hoping that you will take my candidacy into consideration, I hope that my motivations will arouse in you the desire to hear me quickly. ​


Répondre :

Réponse :

alors ton discours, en le lisant, c'est comme si tu avais traduit mots à mots toutes tes phrases.

Explications :

pour la première phrase, tu dis " have been very passionate about the cinema since the age of eight, I have been immersed". tu utilises deux fois le present perfect alors que dans une phrase, même en français, il faut changer les temps. tu peux changer en disant tout simplement "I was very passionate about the cinema since the age of eight, I have been immersed…". là dans la phrase les temps sont changé. il faut faire la même pour tous le texte, revoies tes verbes.

"My 27 years of experience have allowed me to develop my qualities." remplaces ce que j'ai souligné par simplement "allowed".

"Rigorous and responsible, I always invest fully myself  in order to best fulfill the various functions entrusted to me"

trouves un synonyme au mot "fulfill" ça va pas trop avec le sens de la phrase

"Having learned about the career opportunities that your company offers to me"

"James Cameron offered to me play in one of his greatest films « Avatar 2 » in 2037 and I accepted because who wouldn't dream of playing in a film whose the producer is James Cameron ."

j'ai essayé de faire le tour des choses qui n'allait pas et j'espère avoir aidé. le texte en soi est bien, c'est juste qu'il y a quelques fautes de conjugaison.

si y'a d'autres choses n'hésites pas à me demander!